From time to time, I do a bit of philosophizing about life and country. These are, perhaps, my most inspired entries, though maybe not for everyone. You have been warned, read on at your own risk. =)
It is easy, in the course of our day-to-day lives, to take the finer points of our existence for granted. One day blurs into the next, and in an effort to keep up, we become more doers, and less thinkers. But think, we must. It is the faculty of reflection, after all, that differentiates us as sentient individuals from all the other species on this earth. Today, I was jolted into reflecting about a truth which I have known, but have somehow grown insensitive to.
That truth, is that I am not entitled to anything.
I come from a good family, graduated from a top-notch university, and have managed to build a successful professional career. Modesty aside, I have to say that at 28, I think I’ve had a good life thus far.
My parents worked long and hard to give our family a comfortable lifestyle. I’ve lived in a gated community for much of my life, and have only known less-than-affluent environments either as adventures or immersion. I have always traveled from one place to another in air-conditioned cars, insulated from the heat, pollution, and noise of Manila streets. I have traveled to many different countries, ridden on planes more times than I can recall. I would not call my lifestyle lavish, and yet, I cannot recall ever really wanting for anything I haven’t been able to afford.
I studied at the Ateneo de Manila University for 16 years. From elementary to college, I’ve had the opportunity to learn with some of my generation’s smartest Filipinos (or if not, the richest). My professors boasted top-class pedigree, and I was all but assured of a well-paying job upon graduating. True enough, I landed a job with a big multinational company—technically the biggest the world over. In 6 years, I have carved a niche, have progressed at above-average pace, and now receive a decent paycheck every month.
But then, I ask myself. Am I entitled to receive all these blessings? By what I’ve accomplished, or even by the hard work of my parents, am I judged to be deserving of my good life? I realized, that I am not.
The comfortable life I’ve known, that was earned by my parents, not me. The good education, the traveling, the air-conditioned cars and money I’ve spent—those were purchased by their hard work, through the stress they overcame, and even the stress they never did overcome—combined with good luck and God’s blessings.
My exemplary career, and the money that I earn from it, did I earn those? Hardly. You see, in a market where there are many competent players; where there are thousands of other graduates of the Ateneo who speak English as well as I do, compute sums as well as I do, solve problems as well as I do; and where there are hundreds of other schools as good as or even better that the Ateneo, I have not earned anything—it is my employer who takes a gamble on me. They bestow me with titles and pay for my way of life, out of a bet that I will realize my potential and somehow contribute to the institution’s value.
I therefore realize that I am not entitled to anything. No; in fact, what I am, is indebted. Indebted to my parents who gave me the life that I know today; to my employer who takes a gamble on me; to a world and a God who have provided despite my less-than-consistent competencies and attitudes.
The next question then, is will I therefore ever be entitled? It is, I believe, a judgment that can only be passed in retrospect. Judge me deserving of all my blessings at my life’s end, by what I have done and what I have failed to do. Everything that I am and everything that I do today but contribute to a larger answer that will never be complete until then.
And so, I pray for the wisdom to remember all this and to seek excellence in everything that I do, as repayment of my indebtedness. I pray for the humility not to expect, but to be thankful. And I pray for the occasional catharsis that jolts me into remembering, realizing, relishing, that I am perennially a work in progress, ever only hoping to be worth my family’s, this world’s, my God’s time and blessings.
--------------------
I was in line at our office cafeteria today buying lunch. Next to me was one of our office runners, contractual hires who take care of the odds and ends in the workplace for little over minimum wage. I was overhearing his conversation with his fellow runner:
“Gusto mo ‘to, sinigang? Hati tayo.” (You like this pork soup? We can share.)
“’Wag na. Wala akong pera” (No thanks, I have no money.)
“Sige na, ako na muna mag-aabono.” (Come on, I will pay for it for now.)
“Hindi na, ok lang. Di rin ako gutom.” (It’s ok, I’m not too hungry anyway)
And his friend walks away, slightly embarrassed.
I knew they didn’t make much, but I was still riveted by the fact that a grown man was skipping lunch because he couldn’t afford it. Our food was, by my estimation, affordable. Perhaps 60 pesos for the viand and rice. But he couldn’t even afford to share the expense with a friend.
And then I look back to my self. I make more than ten times of what they make. More than ten times. Who am I, what value do I bring to my employer, and what can I possibly need in my life more than how much he needs lunch, for me to be making that much?
I question the idea of entitlement. Am I entitled to my pay? For sure, a working man is entitled to 3 meals a day more than anyone can be entitled to luxury and excess?
It is a wisdom, a catharsis, borne of guilt and a sense of inequality. And hopefully, the response is in search of equality and justice. I know the event was mundane, but it touched me somehow. And I remember those whom I see everyday who are even poorer, hungrier than our office runner.
It renews the challenge to do something. I want to do something.
I am brought back to a religious song I’ve drawn inspiration from many times before:
Your Heart Today
Where there is fear I can allay
Where there is pain I can heal
Where there are wounds I can bind
And hunger I can fill
Where there is hate I can confront
Where there are yokes I can release
Where there are captives I can free
And anger I can appease
Lord grant me courage
Lord grant me strength
Grant me compassion
That I may be your heart today
When comes the day I dread
To see a broken world
Compel me from my cell grown cold
That your people I may behold
And when I’ve done all that I could
Yet there are hearts I cannot move
Lord give me hope
That I may be your heart today.
It is easy, in the course of our day-to-day lives, to take the finer points of our existence for granted. One day blurs into the next, and in an effort to keep up, we become more doers, and less thinkers. But think, we must. It is the faculty of reflection, after all, that differentiates us as sentient individuals from all the other species on this earth. Today, I was jolted into reflecting about a truth which I have known, but have somehow grown insensitive to.
That truth, is that I am not entitled to anything.
I come from a good family, graduated from a top-notch university, and have managed to build a successful professional career. Modesty aside, I have to say that at 28, I think I’ve had a good life thus far.
My parents worked long and hard to give our family a comfortable lifestyle. I’ve lived in a gated community for much of my life, and have only known less-than-affluent environments either as adventures or immersion. I have always traveled from one place to another in air-conditioned cars, insulated from the heat, pollution, and noise of Manila streets. I have traveled to many different countries, ridden on planes more times than I can recall. I would not call my lifestyle lavish, and yet, I cannot recall ever really wanting for anything I haven’t been able to afford.
I studied at the Ateneo de Manila University for 16 years. From elementary to college, I’ve had the opportunity to learn with some of my generation’s smartest Filipinos (or if not, the richest). My professors boasted top-class pedigree, and I was all but assured of a well-paying job upon graduating. True enough, I landed a job with a big multinational company—technically the biggest the world over. In 6 years, I have carved a niche, have progressed at above-average pace, and now receive a decent paycheck every month.
But then, I ask myself. Am I entitled to receive all these blessings? By what I’ve accomplished, or even by the hard work of my parents, am I judged to be deserving of my good life? I realized, that I am not.
The comfortable life I’ve known, that was earned by my parents, not me. The good education, the traveling, the air-conditioned cars and money I’ve spent—those were purchased by their hard work, through the stress they overcame, and even the stress they never did overcome—combined with good luck and God’s blessings.
My exemplary career, and the money that I earn from it, did I earn those? Hardly. You see, in a market where there are many competent players; where there are thousands of other graduates of the Ateneo who speak English as well as I do, compute sums as well as I do, solve problems as well as I do; and where there are hundreds of other schools as good as or even better that the Ateneo, I have not earned anything—it is my employer who takes a gamble on me. They bestow me with titles and pay for my way of life, out of a bet that I will realize my potential and somehow contribute to the institution’s value.
I therefore realize that I am not entitled to anything. No; in fact, what I am, is indebted. Indebted to my parents who gave me the life that I know today; to my employer who takes a gamble on me; to a world and a God who have provided despite my less-than-consistent competencies and attitudes.
The next question then, is will I therefore ever be entitled? It is, I believe, a judgment that can only be passed in retrospect. Judge me deserving of all my blessings at my life’s end, by what I have done and what I have failed to do. Everything that I am and everything that I do today but contribute to a larger answer that will never be complete until then.
And so, I pray for the wisdom to remember all this and to seek excellence in everything that I do, as repayment of my indebtedness. I pray for the humility not to expect, but to be thankful. And I pray for the occasional catharsis that jolts me into remembering, realizing, relishing, that I am perennially a work in progress, ever only hoping to be worth my family’s, this world’s, my God’s time and blessings.
--------------------
I was in line at our office cafeteria today buying lunch. Next to me was one of our office runners, contractual hires who take care of the odds and ends in the workplace for little over minimum wage. I was overhearing his conversation with his fellow runner:
“Gusto mo ‘to, sinigang? Hati tayo.” (You like this pork soup? We can share.)
“’Wag na. Wala akong pera” (No thanks, I have no money.)
“Sige na, ako na muna mag-aabono.” (Come on, I will pay for it for now.)
“Hindi na, ok lang. Di rin ako gutom.” (It’s ok, I’m not too hungry anyway)
And his friend walks away, slightly embarrassed.
I knew they didn’t make much, but I was still riveted by the fact that a grown man was skipping lunch because he couldn’t afford it. Our food was, by my estimation, affordable. Perhaps 60 pesos for the viand and rice. But he couldn’t even afford to share the expense with a friend.
And then I look back to my self. I make more than ten times of what they make. More than ten times. Who am I, what value do I bring to my employer, and what can I possibly need in my life more than how much he needs lunch, for me to be making that much?
I question the idea of entitlement. Am I entitled to my pay? For sure, a working man is entitled to 3 meals a day more than anyone can be entitled to luxury and excess?
It is a wisdom, a catharsis, borne of guilt and a sense of inequality. And hopefully, the response is in search of equality and justice. I know the event was mundane, but it touched me somehow. And I remember those whom I see everyday who are even poorer, hungrier than our office runner.
It renews the challenge to do something. I want to do something.
I am brought back to a religious song I’ve drawn inspiration from many times before:
Your Heart Today
Where there is fear I can allay
Where there is pain I can heal
Where there are wounds I can bind
And hunger I can fill
Where there is hate I can confront
Where there are yokes I can release
Where there are captives I can free
And anger I can appease
Lord grant me courage
Lord grant me strength
Grant me compassion
That I may be your heart today
When comes the day I dread
To see a broken world
Compel me from my cell grown cold
That your people I may behold
And when I’ve done all that I could
Yet there are hearts I cannot move
Lord give me hope
That I may be your heart today.
Very enlightening and inspiring thoughts especially for others who easily forget who they are once they are consumed by luxury and wealth. We are not measured by what we have but by who we are.
ReplyDeleteThis person has reached close to the peak of his being. Once this person has leaped into sharing and feel the priceless rewards, then will you realize that it is not all self agrandisement that is being nurtured into your life. But maybe, just maybe, it is about making other peoples lives better and since you have yours all sorted out...think about it! :) But wait...you are never indebted to anyone but most deserving of what you have received because you may extend and share. Congrats!
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